By Lisa Felton, Managing Director, Vodafone Foundation

I recently had the opportunity to join TechShock, Parent Zone’s podcast, alongside Jeffrey DeMarco from Save the Children. Our conversation reinforced something I’ve increasingly come to believe: when it comes to young people’s digital lives, we are asking the wrong questions.

For too long, we have framed children’s digital lives in terms of safety versus harm, online versus offline, ban or not ban. These debates are important, but they are no longer enough.

Because when we listen to young people themselves, a different picture emerges.

Many are not simply unsafe online. They are struggling to thrive.

Through our Connected Childhood research at Vodafone Foundation, we’ve seen that today’s generation is highly digitally skilled. They understand privacy, they recognise AI, and they navigate complex online environments with confidence. And yet, at the same time, many tell us they feel pressured to stay online, are unable to switch off and distracted, stressed, or out of balance.

In other words, despite strong skills, many young people are coping rather than thriving.

Children themselves are increasingly aware of this tension. They understand the impact digital environments are having, but they are finding it harder and harder to step back when systems are designed to keep them engaged.

This is not a failure of children. It is a signal that the system around them needs to change.

A shared responsibility, not a burden on children

One of the most important shifts we need to make is moving away from placing the responsibility solely on young people and their families. Of course, skills matter. Education matters. Parenting matters. But we cannot ask children to manage complex, highly optimised digital environments on their own. We are no longer in a world where we can simply tell young people to adapt. It is time for the digital world to adapt to them.

That means embracing a shared responsibility model, where technology companies design safer, healthier environments, policymakers set robust standards and accountability, schools and educators build essential skills and resilience, and parents and carers are supported to guide and engage. Only by acting together can we create the conditions for young people not just to be safe but to flourish.

Rethinking the debate: beyond bans and screen time

Public debate often returns to familiar solutions: reducing screen time, restricting access, or introducing bans.

While these approaches may feel intuitive, they risk oversimplifying a far more complex reality. Digital technology is not purely harmful. It is also a space for learning, a source of creativity, a way to connect and belong. Removing access alone will not solve the problem. It can also risk removing opportunity.

Instead, we need to focus on the quality of experiences young people are having online and the environments shaping those experiences.

The role we can play

Our role – as organisations, as industry, as a society – is to create solutions that are practical, evidence-based and grounded in young people’s lived experience.

Through our partnership with Save the Children, we have been working to rethink what young people actually need in a digital world. The result is a broader understanding of digital wellbeing: not just avoiding harm, but building the competencies and conditions that allow young people to thrive.

This is not a challenge that will be solved overnight. Digital technology is constantly evolving, and so too must our response. But we are clear on the direction.

We need to move from fear-based narratives to empowerment, from individual responsibility to shared accountability and from safety to wellbeing.

Because ultimately, the goal is simple.

Not just to protect young people from harm, but to ensure they can participate, grow and thrive in the digital world.